Happy New Year: Not just a resolution post ...

Photo Credits: Mia Conradie

The last time I blogged was while I was in Paris, a whopping 12 months ago. Yes folks, in November 2013 I was packing my life into a 30kg bag ready to embark on a journey of a lifetime! I think in hindsight I realise the impact it has made on me. I travelled to cities and lived in a city that I used to dream about visiting someday.

There were so many wonderful lil moments that I wanted to create a Paris blog about my various interactions, but life caught up and I never got to it. I suppose I could do it someday.

Anyhow, I read somewhere that anyone who lives in Paris, will surely fall in love. If not with yourself, then the city or someone. And that is so true. I guess in my case all three are a little true. Here are some of the exciting parts.

All vanity aside, I fell in love with me, yes quirky, weird, happy ol me. I realised I’m stronger than I ever imagined, and more independent than anyone including myself would have guessed. Yes I can cook and clean and attend class and have fun; all in a day’s work ;). I know what I like and don’t like, I know the me I like and the me I'm not such a big fan of. These memories are a constant reminder of not only who I am but who I want to be and which qualities I’d like to work on more. Rest assured; I’m content and happy with everything as it is and I genuinely believe that everything I’ve done has somehow led me to these opportunities and to where I am.

Paris, the city of lights and love and crepes and macaroons and amazing pastries and, actually all things great! Yes dear folks in case you missed it, I fell madly and deeply in love with this beautiful and somewhat peaceful city! Every step of every day took my breath away. I don’t think I was able to, nor am able to comprehend how lucky I was and my gratitude. Like what did I ever do to deserve such an astonishing opportunity? I must admit that the people I met and befriended were a big part of this journey. I not only found friends, but a family too, not just a city but a home. I consider myself 1/3 French now (don’t ask how I came to that calculation, I’m bad at Maths), “Allez le bleus” and “1, 2, 3 Viva Algerie” will always run through my veins and put a smile on my face. A friend once told “the experience is only as good as the company you're with” and even though I’ve used this quote before, it is still so applicable to my experience.

Lastly, I fell “in love” in a very very VERY loose sense of the word, with a person or persons. And the few things I learnt from those scenarios were:

- My dear women folk out there if a guy wants to meet up after 10pm ALWAYS say no, if he’s really interested in YOU, tomorrow is another day. Unless you’re into that kinda thing, then by all means go ahead ;)

- Always ask for clarity and never feel bad for wanting to know where you stand in someone’s life; the answer may hurt but it’s always best to know.

- Be honest! It’s always better this way.

- The world is full of all kinds of people; some with amazing qualities and others with not so great ones but don’t let that make you lose hope in humanity. We have to meet all kinds of people to know the personalities we gel with and what we are looking for, or not looking for.

- And lastly, you’ll come full circle; you’ll cry, you’ll be angry, you’ll hate, you’ll plot deaths, you’ll let go, and then you’ll learn and appreciate those people and situations, for without them you wouldn’t be this wise.

As I look ahead and think further I foresee more excitement and equally wonderful experiences. And so I end with this piece of advice: life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch) and there’s really nothing truer. Take that trip, do that course, try that job, give cooking or baking a go, just do something you’ve always dreamt or wished doing. It’s not only liberating, but it’s full of value. And if you’re as lucky as I am you’ll always have friends, family and a home no matter where you are or what you do.
 

Photo Credits: Maryam Rabiee

 

 

Je ne parle pas français …

 

 

 

I type this post while sipping on some divine tea from Syria given to me by a friend because I have a cold.

My first two weeks in le petit Paris have been an adventure and a world wind of emotions; from being scared and nervous, to crying tears that filled the Seine River, ok not really but let me have my dramatic moment, to eating crepes and walking the Sunday markets. Paris, dear folks offers it all.

I have walked tons! I’ve walked so much that I’m hundred percent certain that I have not walked this much in my life (yip that’s a South African for you ;)). I must add that toned legs are definitely in my future YAY. I have got lost in this city, taken the wrong metro, ended up in the outside of Paris (which is pretty snazzy might I add) and have met some really nice people along the way.

My experience so far has been one of varied proportions; initially I was ready to close my bags, say "au revoir" and run back home to my mum. But then I told myself "shut up you ungrateful ***** this is an amazing opportunity and you are lucky", so instead I woke up everyday ready to face Paris and prayed that things will get better and I will settle in; voila that's what happened, Shukar.


I have actually met some really nice random people who have always helped me find my way despite my inability to speak French, the pastries are amazing, people are good looking and the public transport is remarkable and oh so convenient. Everyone looks like they’ve stepped off the runway, except in the area I live in, where people are more chilled and normal, but I soon realised that is not the whole of Paris and I brought like five pairs of clothing, alas I won’t let that intimidate me.

I’m that person who randomly smiles at anyone I make eye contact with, and apparently that’s a super weird thing to do here. I must admit that weirdly enough, I get scared to read Salaah anywhere *sigh* and that’s when I realise how much I miss SA, like I can read Salaah anywhere without a worry in the world.

Paris, from what I've seen so far is pretty but pretty regular and normal too. Probably like any other city in the world. However, the architecture and buildings are astonishing and oh so beautiful! Life is regular and life is the same everywhere; this is my home now. I feel pretty grown up hey; I cook, clean, do dishes ALL the time (like every time I use something I wash it), sweep my room and do grocery shopping, but you know that kind of shopping where you compare prices like an old married lady; yip I do tons of that hehe.

I must add this city is definitely one for those whom are in love, there’s magic in the air; the lights and light splatter of a gentle winter rain definitely add to the ambiance of it all. The Eiffel Tower is breathtakingly beautiful and reminds you of the genius each of us hold within us. However, you can’t see the tower from all of Paris as I thought before I arrived.

I visited the Moulin Rouge area last week; at first I said hi to people who said hi to me, and smiled back at others (because it’s just what I do), I was then told “no stop” by my Parisian/Mauritian BFF/sister. This street is unlike anything I’ve ever seen; there are live strip shows, sex workers, tons of sex stores and the place where that famous picture of Marilyn Monroe was taken. This was definitely a culture shock for me but at the same time super interesting. It amazes and impresses me that people are so open.  

 

 

I met a nice group of people, they're from different parts of the world and two are from SA which is pretty cool. I feel grateful to have them in my life as they, along with my Parisian/Mauritian BFF, have made this transition all the more easier and fun! I have like five months left Insha’Allah and I feel quite depressed about leaving my new home. However, if I have one wish that could come true it be that my parents and family come to visit! I don’t think I’ll ever get used to eating alone and cooking for one, it’s lonely and I’m that person who is comfortable on my own but I crave human interaction.

So here’s to the challenges of academics, new experiences, the friends who will become family, learning French and most of all the exciting places I have yet to see.

From Paris with Love

xoxo

 

 

#DiaryOfAGujiGirl

Yesterday I started reading the blog http://diaryofagujigirl.co.za/ it took me a few hours to complete reading all the posts. A lot of what she says makes me think "OMG I'm sure I know this person" here's my opinion about the blog.

1. I like it a lot. I think that as a Muslim Indian, Guji or not you can relate to a lot that's being spoken about. 

2. We've all been strung along by someone. At times I wanted to kill Moe but we all have a Moe in our lives, in some shape or form. I suppose nothing is as it seems ... The question is what are you willing to do with the 'Moe' in your life?

3. Some of the stereotypes are whack; e.g. Aamina and Mariam getting lost in Alex. Indeed SA is dangerous for the most part but I believe beauty and humanity still exists (call me an idealist) and as my friend Aayesha Soni said "with such a great platform ... the writer should do more to combat stereotypes, instead of promoting them". 

Also I hate how Aamina was so rude and judgmental about a half Malay coming to see Ayesha, and this is a problem with much of our Indian society. Shouldn't the fact that the person is a good Muslim and a good human being trump race?!
 
4. If you are a #GrammarNazi then this blog will drive you INSANE but overlook it.
 
5. What I love most is Aamina's journey to self-discovery. And this is what I will base this post on.

Due to my Honours Thesis on Marriage and the Pressures that come with it in Muslim Indian Communities in Joburg I think I may be thinking a little way too much about marriage. 

I think we're all so obsessed with marriage or companionship that we fail to find ourselves first; to become and mold ourselves into full/complete human beings. Not only that but  I also think we don't ever reach our full potential. I look at Aamina and I think to myself "Ya Allah I have wasted so much of my time agonising about some guy that may or may not be interested in me", time that I could have used wisely to accomplish something important, time that I will never get back. 

I want to challenge myself and everyone out there, to go find ourselves, figure out our likes and dislikes, fulfil our dreams and live life to the full! Indeed marriage is half of our Imaan but Taqdeer and faith in Allah is Islam and that should trump all these silly pressures or thoughts regarding marriage. It will happen when it's meant to happen.

In no way am I saying close yourself to the idea or reject people because Allah will send your significant other on a silver platter as that won't happen. I am, however, saying that you need to be open minded especially since we're all getting older but don't preoccupy yourself with these thoughts at Every. Waking. Moment. 

Yes, I sympathise with Aamina and as much as I can relate to her I also feel sorry for hey. Sorry that she hasn't experienced life for herself by herself. There really is no shame in being independent and doing your own stuff or doing things on your own, there is however, shame in letting life pass us by while we watch.

So here's to making our dreams a reality and living life to the full, within the boundaries of Islam of course, Aameen. 

May Allah always guide us, Insha'Allah Aameen. 

xoxo :)

Remembering Mariam

"You just have to be the best kind of person you can be every day.

Love other people even if they don’t love you.

Make art & learn things & never hurt another person on purpose.

Use mistakes to learn about the world.

Use sadness to learn about yourself."

 

The above words sum up my feelings really well, thanks Saajidah Ebrahim for sharing them. 

A few years back, in 2010 while I was in Pakistan for my cousin's wedding & the rest of the world was enjoying the 2010 Soccer World Cup, a friend of mine, Mariam was in Makkah.

I travelled with her to & from high school for 5 years, we spent every break since Grade 10 together & an Iftaar at her house every year. When we got to University, I suppose we were too busy to meet up, she on West Campus, & I on East; the trek for most of us lazy people is far.

On June 30, 2010 my dear friend passed away in the Holy City. To be honest sometimes I can't believe that she's gone, I still imagine us being busy; she on West & I, on East.

If there's one regret I have in life & one thing that Mariam's death taught me is that I did not tell her I loved, valued & appreciated having her in my life. She was a blessing; a sarcastic, humourous soul who always teased me about my romantic abilities & never let me forget FLB 2008. 

It was at this moment while reminiscing about High School & our years together that I decided to live with no regrets! I don't mean just doing whatever comes to mind *I'll be honest somethings still scare me*, I mean if I have something to say, I'll say it, if I love or adore you, you'll know it & I won't be shy to admit it. The reason for this is, if someone else has to pass on or my life comes to end, I want the people in my life to know how I felt about them.

Having a regret like this hurts & I don't know if one ever gets over it, I know it's 3 years later & I still wonder "Did Mari know I adored her".

So as the saying goes "if you love someone, tell them", live with no regrets & walk away from every situation knowing that you did all that you could; yip live life by that. No matter how much rejection or pain you may face, knowing that you did all you could allows one to walk with their head held high. 

Good luck! They never promised life would be easy, but it sure is worth it.  
xoxo

How I Came to Love the Veil by Yvonne Ridley

So ISLAAMINFO emailed me this article yesterday morning. I absolutely LOVE it & had to share it with you all. It was written by sister Yvonne Ridley in 2006. She says:

"I used to look at veiled women as quiet, oppressed creatures -- until I was captured by the Taliban In September 2001, just 15 days after the terrorist attacks on the United States, I snuck into Afghanistan, clad in a head-to-toe blue burqa, intending to write a newspaper account of life under the repressive regime. Instead, I was discovered, arrested and detained for 10 days. I spat and swore at my captors; they called me a "bad" woman but let me go after I promised to read the Koran and study Islam. (Frankly, I'm not sure who was happier when I was freed -- they or I.)

Back home in London, I kept my word about studying Islam -- and was amazed by what I discovered. I'd been expecting Koran chapters on how to beat your wife and oppress your daughters; instead, I found passages promoting the liberation of women. Two-and-a-half years after my capture, I converted to Islam, provoking a mixture of astonishment, disappointment and encouragement among friends and relatives.

Now, it is with disgust and dismay that I watch here in Britain as former foreign secretary Jack Straw describes the Muslim nikab -- a face veil that reveals only the eyes -- as an unwelcome barrier to integration, with Prime Minister Tony Blair, writer Salman Rushdie and even Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi leaping to his defense.

Having been on both sides of the veil, I can tell you that most Western male politicians and journalists who lament the oppression of women in the Islamic world have no idea what they are talking about. They go on about veils, child brides, female circumcision, honor killings and forced marriages, and they wrongly blame Islam for all this -- their arrogance surpassed only by their ignorance.

These cultural issues and customs have nothing to do with Islam. A careful reading of the Koran shows that just about everything that Western feminists fought for in the 1970s was available to Muslim women 1,400 years ago. Women in Islam are considered equal to men in spirituality, education and worth, and a woman's gift for childbirth and child-rearing is regarded as a positive attribute.

When Islam offers women so much, why are Western men so obsessed with Muslim women's attire? Even British government ministers Gordon Brown and John Reid have made disparaging remarks about the nikab -- and they hail from across the Scottish border, where men wear skirts.

When I converted to Islam and began wearing a headscarf, the repercussions were enormous. All I did was cover my head and hair -- but I instantly became a second-class citizen. I knew I'd hear from the odd Islamophobe, but I didn't expect so much open hostility from strangers. Cabs passed me by at night, their "for hire" lights glowing. One cabbie, after dropping off a white passenger right in front of me, glared at me when I rapped on his window, then drove off. Another said, "Don't leave a bomb in the back seat" and asked, "Where's bin Laden hiding?"

Yes, it is a religious obligation for Muslim women to dress modestly, but the majority of Muslim women I know like wearing the hijab, which leaves the face uncovered, though a few prefer the nikab. It is a personal statement: My dress tells you that I am a Muslim and that I expect to be treated respectfully, much as a Wall Street banker would say that a business suit defines him as an executive to be taken seriously. And, especially among converts to the faith like me, the attention of men who confront women with inappropriate, leering behavior is not tolerable.

I was a Western feminist for many years, but I've discovered that Muslim feminists are more radical than their secular counterparts. We hate those ghastly beauty pageants, and tried to stop laughing in 2003 when judges of the Miss Earth competition hailed the emergence of a bikini-clad Miss Afghanistan, Vida Samadzai, as a giant leap for women's liberation. They even gave Samadzai a special award for "representing the victory of women's rights."

Some young Muslim feminists consider the hijab and the nikab political symbols, too, a way of rejecting Western excesses such as binge drinking, casual sex and drug use. What is more liberating: being judged on the length of your skirt and the size of your surgically enhanced breasts, or being judged on your character and intelligence? In Islam, superiority is achieved through piety -- not beauty, wealth, power, position or sex. I didn't know whether to scream or laugh when Italy's Prodi joined the debate last week by declaring that it is "common sense" not to wear the nikab because it makes social relations "more difficult." Nonsense. If this is the case, then why are cellphones, landlines, e-mail, text messaging and fax machines in daily use? And no one switches off the radio because they can't see the presenter's face.

Under Islam, I am respected. It tells me that I have a right to an education and that it is my duty to seek out knowledge, regardless of whether I am single or married. Nowhere in the framework of Islam are we told that women must wash, clean or cook for men. As for how Muslim men are allowed to beat their wives -- it's simply not true. Critics of Islam will quote random Koranic verses or hadith, but usually out of context. If a man does raise a finger against his wife, he is not allowed to leave a mark on her body, which is the Koran's way of saying, "Don't beat your wife, stupid."

It is not just Muslim men who must reevaluate the place and treatment of women. According to a recent National Domestic Violence Hotline survey, 4 million American women experience a serious assault by a partner during an average 12-month period. More than three women are killed by their husbands and boyfriends every day -- that is nearly 5,500 since 9/11.

Violent men don't come from any particular religious or cultural category; one in three women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in her lifetime, according to the hotline survey. This is a global problem that transcends religion, wealth, class, race and culture.

But it is also true that in the West, men still believe that they are superior to women, despite protests to the contrary. They still receive better pay for equal work -- whether in the mailroom or the boardroom -- and women are still treated as sexualized commodities whose power and influence flow directly from their appearance.

And for those who are still trying to claim that Islam oppresses women, recall this 1992 statement from the Rev. Pat Robertson, offering his views on empowered women: Feminism is a "socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

Now you tell me who is civilized and who is not."

To listen to the full talk given by Sister Yvonne visit: http://islaaminfo.co.za/index.php?option=com_weblinks&view=category&id=48&Itemid=46

To sign up for emails from ISLAAMINFO send a blank e-mail to subscribe@islaaminfo.co.za or visit their website www.islaaminfo.co.za for Audio Lectures, E-Books, Articles and more.

A Positve Outlook

So I read this a few years back & came across it again today & thought I have to share it with you all. Sorry, I really don't know who wrote it, but the words are so true. 

 Enjoy :)

 

"Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Do not set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
 

Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
Do not give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other.
 

Do not be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love;
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;
In addition, the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
 

Do not dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope;
To be without hope is to be without purpose.
Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going.
 

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored
Each step of the way."

Blogging: Just Another Vulnerable Situation ...

So I haven't blogged in a while; I'll admit I've been on this rollercoaster ride called Honours so I used it as an excuse. However, truth is I was told "oh your posts are boring", "oh you're so lame" etc etc. Even though I'm a confident person, it did hit a nerve. Despite the fact that you don't know why I post these greater than thou posts, and in case you were wondering it's because I have faith that maybe my words will resonate with someone and mean something to them!
 

Anyhow, what sparked this post was a conversation with someone who has always been dear to me. She, like me is a blogger.
 

People don't realise when you put yourself out there whether it be in a form of a blog, a book, or in human interaction you make yourself vulnerable; it's probably the reason why most people shy away from such interactions. Indeed not everyone will like what you write / have to say and there will be constructive criticism (emphasis on the constructive part) but my qualm is, if you don't have anything nice to say DON'T say it! You being nasty may affect me but I'll get over it, however, that's who you are and is that really the person you want to be?
 

Let's be honest the only one that can judge is Allah Ta'ala (God). And behaving like a human and having humanity is important too! Don't forget it's a sin to hurt the feelings of another.
 

And to my fellow bloggers out there, stay confident! Cry and feel sorry for yourself but get back up. All of this negative energy that is so freely available will only make us stronger. Stay true to who u are! It seems to crush people who excel and/or are different is people's favourite past time these day. 

Chin up always
xoxo

My Experience in Germany: 2013 Tübingen/South Africa Programme

The beautiful city of  Tübingen
Photo Credits: Michelle Nowers

On Sunday 6 January 2013 a group of sixteen students met at Capello in O.R. Tambo International Airport ready to embark on a journey of a life time. I was honoured to be the representative from the University of the Witwatersrand for this Cultural and Language Programme in Tübingen. This trip was an incredible opportunity for every individual who attended.

There are many aspects that stood out about this trip and there are many things that I learnt about myself, the world and the amazing group I was blessed to be a part of. Meeting people of a different calibre and from different walks of life have assisted in broadening my horizons. This trip taught me patience and tolerance to the differences that make us individuals. It has taught me about diversity and a country so rich in history, politics and tradition.

I had my fair share of hurdles on this trip; some of which were: lack of Halaal food, not many practicing Muslims, being away from home for the first time for such a long time and having to do everything for myself, almost always missing the bus home and being punctual; however as I look back I am grateful for every experience lived! Living in a city that is not vigilant to Islam made me stronger in my faith, being away from home gave me a renewed sense of independence and showed me that indeed I can fend for myself, missing the bus taught me to stand on my own two feet, speak to people and find my way home, and lastly my long lived problem with being punctual is hopefully sorted out, where better to learn punctuality than in Germany.

Every excursion was insightful and something to look forward to. There were many comparisons and contrasts that could be made between South Africa and Germany. I hope once we all get back into our daily routine we will try and instil a bit of German culture into our realm, for example recycling. Germans are huge on recycling, South Africans not so much. If we as South Africans start recycling we will be one step closer to creating a world which we are proud to live in; one which we will be glad to bestow unto future generations.

I end this post with the following: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend” Melody Beattie. First and foremost I thank my University for nominating me. Thanks must go to the organisers from Stellenbosch and Tübingen University and most importantly every individual who played a role in making this trip a possibility for me. And lastly thanks to the rest of the group for making the 4 weeks an incredible journey, "after the experience is only as good as the company you're with".

In case you're wondering how I managed to get nominated my piece of advice would be work hard in your academics but play hard too. Don't be so preoccupied with living your own life and fulfilling your own dreams that you forget about your community and the problems that face us. Be an active participant of society. Love life and have fun! Most importantly grab every opportunity that comes your way and if you want something go out there and get it not forgetting your manners and morals. And always stay true to yourself!

The lessons learnt, experiences shared and bonds formed will be carried with me for years to come, if not forever. I am filled with pride and gratitude for the amazing opportunity experienced.

At the Mercedes Benz (Daimler) Factory in Stuttgart

Outside Staatsgalerie, Stuttgart

The walk down from Hohenzolle Castle

  

For information on the Tübingen/South Africa Programme visit: http://www.uni-tuebingen.de/uni/qzl/isp/sonder/southafrica/Kurs2013/welcome2013.html